The Bunny God
by Heeroluva
Summary: Spike had finally come up with the perfect plan to get Xander all too himself. This is a bit of a crack fic... Spike/Xander


Title: The Bunny God  
Author: heeroluva  
Fandom: Buffy  
Pairing: Spike/Xander, Xander/Anya shortly  
Rating: PG-13 (for Spike's dirty mouth)  
Warnings: none... that's a first  
Words: 680  
Spoilers: Season 4 or 5  
Disclaimer: I don't own them. I just like to play with them.  
Summary: Spike had finally come up with the perfect plan to get Xander all too himself.  
Notes: No bunnies were hurt in the making of this fic. This is my first contribution for nekid_spike's adopt-a-bunny. It's about as close to I get to comedy or crack. This was also inspire by slashthedrabble's current prompt #205 - Ridiculous, but I got a bit carried away and went over the 500 word limit. This is unbeta'ed and all mistakes belong to me.

Spike had finally come up with the perfect plan to get rid of that bitch of an ex-demoness and get Xander all to himself. Xander wanted him; he knew he did, could smell it and could feel those eyes following his every move. But that bint had some sort of leverage over his boy, had her claws dug into deep, unwilling to let him go or share.

But Spike had stumbled across the tastiest little tidbit of information. Well more like he'd threatened it out of Willy but the results were the same. The demon bint was afraid of bunny rabbits. A demoness more than a millennium old was scared of cute, little, innocent, fluffy bunny rabbits… how ridiculous was that? Spike had the hardest time not cracking up at the very though. And who was he kidding. He didn't try very hard at all.

So back to his plan, Spike knew a warlock that owed him a favor and the spell was so crazily easy that the man readily agreed to it, if all debts were paid in full. Spike agreed knowing that the outcome would be more than worth it.

So that night as he entered the Magic Box he was greeted by the pleasant sound of her screaming. He couldn't help but grin evilly knowing that the spell was in full swing. Ah the spell, such a lovely little work of magic, yet beautifully simple. Every time she got near Xander a multitude of sweet, cuddly, little bunnies would appear around him and the kicker was that to her, Spike himself appeared as a giant bunny.

She ran towards the door, appearing to everyone to be fleeing from nothing. But she found the door blocked by a giant bunny rabbit. "The Bunny God, I knew he was real!" she shrieked in horror as she turned and fled out the back door.

Spike couldn't help but cracking up, and when asked by the group what that was about he just put on an innocent air, claiming he knew nothing, just found it funny that the demon bint was acting so crazy. They all looked skeptical but couldn't prove anything. But Xander knew that something was going on and just grinned wildly.

Such encounters continued throughout the week until on Easter morning, Xander woke up finding a note from Anya telling him that she was sorry, but he was cursed and that she couldn't stay there any longer if she was going to remain sane and had finally taken D'Hoffryn up on his offer to get her old job back as well as a promotion.

Xander couldn't help but finally feel relieved that he didn't have to pretend any longer, didn't have to fear retaliation if he acted on his desires. So when Spike appeared at his door that evening he swung it open in welcome and prompted burst out laughing.

"Oi, what's so funny whelp? I help you with you demon problem and this is how you repay me." Spike was in game face and hissing which caused Xander to take another look at him and promptly start howling. In answer he reached up towards Spike's head and pulled on his…. long, fluffy ear? Turning around he snarled at the sight of a white fluffy tail that he found was securely attached to him when he gave it a yank.

"That warlock is dead the next time I see him." Spike snarled with growing anger.

"Aww, don't be that way, Spike. They're very cute." Xander pulled him close, plastering them together chest to knee.

"Oi! I don't look cute. This is ridiculous. I—" Spike was abruptly cut off as Xander's mouth slanted across his, stopping all conscious thought as he was dragged off towards the bedroom.

Xander decided that he wouldn't say anything about Spike's cute little twitching nose and matching whiskers. The digital camera he had shoved in the bedside table would make for some great blackmail material later should he need it. And if only Spike knew what his boy was planning, he'd be proud.


End file.
